


Save me

by Glueckszucker



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: #404 Ben Solo not found, Bottom Rey (Star Wars), Dark Reylo, Dominance, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Kylo Ren no redemption, Mind Manipulation, Mind Rape, Reylo angst, Submissive Rey (Star Wars), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 03:46:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17175251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glueckszucker/pseuds/Glueckszucker
Summary: Starts at the scene when Rey is captured by Kylo in TFA and takes a different turn.Please read the tags! There's no rape or sexual scenes in this but it's still non-con and Kylo is his hot dominant self. No redemption!Thanks @pandoraspocks for encouraging me to post this, it's been a long time that I wrote it.





	1. Chapter 1

“You know I can take whatever I want.”

She tried to move her head away from him as much as she could but the very tight restraints didn’t allow for much. How intensely she despised him, that monster that stood for everything she hated: hierarchies, violence, power - power over her, right in this very moment. 

He moved his hand to being merely inches away from her face, his wrist resting on her shoulder. Tears started streaming down her cheeks. She wanted to scream at him, stop him, make him leave somehow but she was frozen. As he entered her mind, it didn’t hurt in a physical sense… she knew how to handle physical pain as she had had to endure it many times before. With that kind of pain, it was always still possible to keep some grace, some posture… but getting your mind torn apart was something entirely different. She felt so powerless with him intruding her thoughts, digging in her fears, crawling through her hopes and dreams… she had never felt so vulnerable before and there was absolutely nothing she could do.

“You feel lonely… so afraid to leave… at night, desperate to sleep… you imagine an ocean… I see it, I see the island…”

“Get out of my head!” She hissed at him, and he took a few steps back.

“It’s a little uncomfortable, isn’t it… not being able to hide anything…”

He sat back in the chair at the other side of the room, his hands in his lap, but she knew that he was still in there. He hadn’t let go, he could still hear her thoughts. She just felt it. 

“Stop it! You’re disgusting!”

A faint grin escaped him.

“So much anger… so uncontrolled… the force is strong with you, that’s undeniable, but you are in desperate need of a teacher.”

“Luke will teach me, and once he does, I will come back and try to kill you… and this time, I hope I’ll be able to end you!”

He laughed. “That’s a pretty bold thing of you to say in this situation, don’t you think? Not even to speak of the fact that you haven’t found Luke yet and even if you do… he’s an old, confused, bitter man and most certainly not the kind of teacher you’d need even if he’d be willing to guide you. And I know that you know that, you just cling to that one hope because no better opportunity has presented itself to you until now.”

“What do you want from me? If you want to torture me, go ahead, but by god, stop with the talking, it’s making me sick to my stomach having to listen to you!”

“Well, in that case it’s a pretty good torture method for you, isn’t it? I don’t think you’d be very impressed if I just inflicted some pain on you… you’d need so much of that to break you that we’d still be in this situation next week or you’d faint or die before you’d speak… also, that’s not my kind of game.”

“Everything is a game to the first order, isn’t it? You treat our lives as if they were just… some statistics. Some annoying disturbances in your systems… what made you such a heartless monster?”

He didn’t seem impressed by her accusations, at most, he was amused by them. He got up from his chair and approached her once more, bending down right next to her so she could feel his breath in her ear. With one gloved hand hovering over her throat, he continued his train of thoughts.

“You are so, so lonely… you hate the First Order but it’s not because you despise violence or because you are actually convinced that we are somehow wrong… you just happen to believe that everyone here is lonely, that the dark side of the force requires you to give up everything, that it consumes you until you are a hollow shell of yourself, completely devoid of any passion or joy… but that’s not true, Rey… not at all. Everything and anything we do serves a purpose and we - I - fight for peace in the galaxy. You will only get eaten up by the Force if you don’t get proper training and let the anger and frustration take over you. And passion… passion is per definition something only the dark side can give you. In the light, there’s only… absence from emotions. They will tell you to abstain from caring too much as it makes you weak… I’d never say such a thing. You need to fully embrace your lust for love, your hunger for power and your intense anger… only then will you actually be happy and free.”

“You liar! Peace and love, how could you even dare to use such words!”  
She found it painful to listen to him. Nothing he said was in line with what she had heard from her friends in the Resistance, and she had seen the First Order do horrible things to good people many times before. But still, she hated how well he understood her. He was the only and first one to see her emotions and despair as they were, completely uncovered right before his eyes.  
She saw that his glove didn’t actually touch her skin but the area still felt burning hot, as if he was connected to the blood pumping through her veins, somehow feeling her pulse with his mind.

“Let me show you…”  
He lifted his other hand to her forehead and invaded her mind with full force once more. This time, he didn’t search through her thoughts but let her see his vision, like a movie inside of her head but a lot faster and more confusing. 

There was indeed peace, laughter, comfort. Unity. And power, but in tight control. She felt herself… as someone with a wonderful life she had created for herself, respected by others and surrounded by loyal friends. She saw a version of her life that she hadn’t even dared to dream of - it was indeed everything she had ever hoped for… but on the Dark Side of the Force.  
“You must be curious what your life will look like if you continue on the path you’ve recently chosen…”  
The image shifted and instead of the rich, glorious scene she had just seen, there was nothing but despair. People that she loved dying horrific deaths, hopelessness, endless fights for nothing, war and poverty. She was still powerful in this version but utterly destroyed by the uncontrolled forces inside her. Instead of friendship and love, she saw betrayal and chaos. But on top of all, so, so much sadness. 

“YOU LIAR!” She screamed. Tears clouded her sight and she found it increasingly difficult to speak due to the giant knot that had formed in her throat. 

“It’s all true… but I understand your confusion. I was once just as confused as you, having been fed the lies for a long time before that… I know that you felt that I’m being honest with you. So, Rey… do you still want to go back to the Resistance and live the unfulfilling, horrible life I’ve just shown to you? Is that actually what you desire?”

“Yes! Let me go!” 

Wiping away her tears and wet strands of hair from her face, he sighed deeply. 

“I see, you will need some time to think. Fortunately for you, I’ll grant it to you…”

He waved his hand over her head once more, just like he did when he captured her, and let her drift off into a deep sleep full of dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes up and realizes she's still on Kylo's ship.

When Rey woke up, she was drenched in sweat and horribly thirsty. For a few seconds, she had forgotten the last night’s events and had no idea where she was. She still clung to her dreams in which she had seen many versions of her life from the current moment to her death, and it made her head implode.  
She noticed that she wasn’t restrained anymore and lay in a luxurious bed. Silky linens in a medium-sized bedroom with quite dark but tasteful interiors.  
Where was she, was this a guest room on the ship? Was she free? She threw away the covers but instead of jumping off the bed she froze. Instead of her beloved clothes she had worn the day before, she wore a simple tight black shirt and loose, short black pants - and nothing else. On top, she discovered a couple of bandages on various parts of her body, mostly on top of wounds and scratches she had suffered in the last few battles. Apparently, a light green liquid had been rubbed into them which had stopped the pain and had already closed them up a little bit.  
Nothing made sense anymore… she just had to escape as quickly as possible. She stood up from the bed and walked over to the door. As expected, it didn’t open. There wasn’t even any kind of handle or control panel. She suspected it was either remotely controlled or by voice. Not at all helpful.  
She tried the second door but discovered that it only led into the refresher. She had to admit that taking a shower would have been a nice and somewhat necessary luxury as she was itchy from the night’s sweat… but time was running and she just had to find a way out as quickly as she could.

Sss----h. She jumped a little as the first door opened. It was Kylo.

Seeing the door wide open, she saw her chance and ran into his direction. Unfortunately for Rey, he was way too quick and firmly grasped her upper arms.

“Leaving without a goodbye? You don’t just need someone to teach you to fight, you also need someone to teach you some manners…”

She growled and tried to wrestle herself free, pushing with all her force and kicking him but to no avail. As the door closed behind him, she screamed in frustration.

“What do you want from me? Why did you bring me here?! If you want to kill me, just do it already!”

He shook his head, looking almost sad, and pushed her a few steps to the right so they were standing in front of a large mirror. He turned her around so they were both facing it.  
Her face went pale. Resting on top of her clavicles she wore a tight, heavy black leather and steel collar around her neck, steadily fastened with a lock in her nape. She gasped. He let her hands free so he could watch her grabbing and trying to throw it off, naturally all in vain. 

“What in the... “

Before she could continue her sentence, he had found his way into her mind once more to show her why he had placed the collar around her neck. In that vision, she got back to Resistance… relieved to be free, happy to be reunited with her friends, and she even found Luke and was trained by him. But she failed each and every one of his assignments, making him disappointed. Each time she tried to make use of the Light Side of the Force, she felt it blocked… as if someone force-choked her, her throat tightening and not letting her breathe anymore. It dawned on her what Kylo’s intention with the collar was.

“You … sick…”

In a quick motion, she turned around, planning to hit him. It wasn’t a strategically well planned move but the rage totally overtook her. The sight of the collar made her boil with anger.

He caught her hands before she could even touch him and held her in place.

“No need to be so violent, Rey. I will let you free under one condition. Before I tell you, will you try to control yourself?”

She breathed heavily, desperately trying to escape his intense gaze. She had made the mistake of directly looking into his piercing eyes once before and it had made her incredibly uncomfortable. 

Swallowing down all the insults she wanted to throw at him, she slowly nodded. Whatever chance there was to escape, she had to use it.

“Good.”  
He let go of her and allowed her to take a few steps back. She crossed her arms in front of her.

“My condition is this one: if you ever find yourself feeling as desperate as I showed you in my vision, I want you to come back to me. You just need to truthfully promise that to myself and I’ll let you leave this ship unharmed at the next opportunity.”

She furrowed her brows. It didn’t make any sense to her.

“Why would you do that? Where’s the catch?”

“There is no catch. All I wanted was to show you your options, now it’s up to you to decide. I could force you to stay, torture you for a long time, make you weak and pliable… but I prefer for you to make your choice on your own. At some point - I can’t tell you when that is going to be, but we’ll both most definitely know it when it happens - you won’t be torn apart anymore and you’ll just know on which side you’re going to finally stand. If you choose poorly, you know I won’t be able to save you, and there’s a good chance I’ll have to end you myself. But if you choose well, there’s a whole world waiting for you at my door. I need to warn you though, once you decide, there is no going back, not ever. You were right about one thing about the Dark Side - we do not forgive lightly, and we see defiance as a mortal sin. Once you serve me, I’ll be absolutely brutal with you until the last ounce of doubt will have vanished. You cannot hide anything from me, Rey. I will take everything from you… and it will be painful. That’s the price of fulfillment…”

Seemingly unimpressed, she looked back to her right into the mirror. For a split second, she imagined herself kneeling before him with this very collar on, thanking him for teaching her, for saving her. The thought made her sick to her stomach.

“Why the collar? You block out the Light Side and tell me you want me to choose freely?”

“That’s just for your own good. Your raw force is going to destroy you. If I let you use it, you’ll soon go off the rails and you’ll be so far gone that I won’t be able to take you back, and don’t even think for a moment that Luke or anyone else could. With the Dark Side however… well, that’s something I can control.”

“It’s fascinating how well you’ve memorized your lies and justifications. But anyways… alright. I accept your condition. Can I leave now?” She stared at the floor right before him. Maybe Leia had seen such a collar or something similar before and could free her of it, or maybe it was possible to remove it with sheer force. There would be a solution.

“I need to hear it. Repeat it. My condition.”

She sighed deeply, lightly tapping the floor with one foot.

“If I ever feel desperate, I’ll… let you know.”

“No, incorrect. Try again.”

She had a hard time remembering a time that someone had annoyed her that much. Still, the deep tone of his voice and the way he stood there, staring at here, was menacing, and she didn’t want to anger him so much that he’d just decide then and there that he could never make her join him… who knew what he would have done in that case. She was completely unarmed, vulnerable and exhausted while he was in full gear and apparently well-rested.

“If I ever feel as desperate as you’ve shown me, I’ll… go and find you.”

“You won’t need to find me. I will find you. You will just need to let me know. It’s pretty easy.”

Remembering her situation and the chance of being free just lying in front of her, she nodded. It took all her self-control to say it and sound somewhat earnest but she tried.  
“Yes. Th… thank you for your… your…”

“No need to play an act, Rey. You’ll tell me how sorry you are for your behavior soon enough. You are free to leave.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is back with the Resistance.  
> (As you notice I am not into writing long summaries!)

She couldn’t believe her luck when his guards actually let her leave the ship in a small capsule just a few hours later and she was able to reunite with her friends. No one else could believe it either - but she hadn’t told them about the collar yet, meticulously hiding it under a makeshift scarf.   
“So he didn’t hurt you… at all? They even tended to your wounds? Wow, they must really believe you’ll join them eventually. How stupid of them!”  
She laughed with her friends. To celebrate her escape, they had a small party, everyone enjoying a couple of glasses of good wine and the best food they could organize on a short notice. She felt at home. How could Kylo ever believe she’d trade those people that loved her with his horrible army of murderers?

\---

Even weeks later, Leia still hadn’t found a way to remove the collar and it was making Rey furious. She hated the look and feel of it, she hated having to constantly hide it as she ran out of excuses and of course she hated that it blocked her abilities that much. The war was still raging and her friends needed her. They knew now where they would find Luke and it frustrated her that she wouldn’t be able to be trained by him… everything would have been for naught.   
Eventually, Rey told Leia to stop focusing on the collar as it just took too much of her time that she needed for other tasks. Everyone who tried to touch and remove it was stopped by a sharp pain similar to a lightning strike and stayed paralyzed for half a day or longer. When she tried it herself, the visions Kylo had shown her played in her head for hours and hours. Unable to shake them, she was filled with dread each time, being reminded of a version of her life that only contained despair and hopelessness.

\----

Months went by and the war was still going in in full force. There were losses and small victories… but mostly losses. A few weeks after her encounter with Kylo, Finn had had an accident and lost his life, and Poe had decided that this wasn’t the life he had wanted after all and had disappeared one night, just leaving behind a short goodbye letter. They were getting fewer and fewer and each day seemed to be a little less light.  
Even Leia was becoming more defensive each day, often staring into space for hours. Luke had connected to her through the force and had told her that he didn’t want to be found and just wanted to be left alone to die on a planet somewhere far away. It was horrible.

“Leia… may I come in?”, Rey asked.  
“Yes, of course…”  
Distraught and disheveled she looked, Rey thought. Her usually very accurate hairstyle was messy and unkempt today.  
“Have you heard anything from Luke yet? I thought… we should have found him by now… I can feel the Force rising in me and I… I just… have a hard time getting a grip on it. The other day, I accidently threw Rose against a wall just because she made a stupid joke… just a little bit of rage sends me off the rails. Leia, I… I really need him.”

Did she see her cry? This had never happened before!  
“Rey, darling… oh… I know… but… please don’t wait for Luke any longer. He has let me know that he… doesn’t want to be found, so… you will need to find your own way. You are strong, you will make it, and maybe we’ll be able to find some of the books containing the old teachings of the Jedi…”

Shocked, Rey stared at her for a moment, not wanting to believe what she had just heard. Did Leia want to give up after everything that happened, all the lives they had sacrificed? And did she just offer some dusty books as a replacement for an actual teacher? Unable to find an appropriate response, Rey ran out of the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally breaks.

It must have been hours. Rey was still wandering around in the desert of the rocky planet they were currently staying on. At night, the air was cool enough to allow for some deep breaths, and it was so beautifully quiet here. 

 

Her mind was racing. She felt immensely angry at Leia’s decision to give up searching for her brother. The fury raising in her, she stared at the dark blue sky. Suddenly, she couldn’t contain it anymore. Tears started streaming down her face and her pulse quickened to an unnatural pace. She felt so exhausted and so unrestful at the same time. 

This was not the life she had imagined. There was no hope, only sadness and losses. Crying and screaming, she kicked around some loose rocks, and the more destructive she became, the more powerful she felt. Thoughts of loneliness and disappointed consumed her and for the first time in many years, darkness fully engulfed her.  
She needed an outlet for all her anger but she just didn’t know how to channel it. Instead of letting it out, she let it in, eating at her will to live.

In this moment, she found her existence unbearable. Nothing made sense anymore.  
Painful memories of lost friends invaded her mind, the pictures of them bleeding out on the battlefield as fresh in her mind as the day it happened. Disappointment in the parents she never had and Luke who had abandoned her before he had even known her. 

In a fit of blind rage, Rey threw herself on the ground, sobbing into the sandy ground and ripping out strands of her hair. She just wanted to end it right then and there. No time to lose, no second thoughts. She grabbed the knife she always carried in her pocket and stabbed it right into her chest where she thought her heart was. 

The sharp pain that came upon her felt relieving, wiping away the unbearable storm in her head, her heartbeat slowing down with every drop of blood leaving her body. She lay down on her back, staring into the sky until her consciousness was overtaken by shadows, and lastly, darkness. It could have been different. It could have all played out in a better way. He did tell the truth after all. 

_Please help me, Kylo._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo comes for Rey.

She heard his voice through a thick, cloudy wall. Confusing memories coming alive and fading, her mind slipping in and out of consciousness, she had trouble understanding him. She couldn’t feel her body, just somehow knew that he was there, calling to her.

“Finally. Get her into a medic droid. She must have lost a lot of blood already, so hurry up.”

He bent down to her, lightly touching her collar. He was inclined to pull out the dagger from her heart but he knew it wouldn’t have been a good idea. She already lay in a large pool of blood, white skin, blue lips, and her mind was far gone. 

He hoped it wasn’t too late already - what a stupid waste of talent it would have been. He hadn’t expected her to take such drastic measures or else he would have taken her choice to join him from her much earlier. Then again, maybe her suicide attempt would prove helpful after all. 

Maybe it would reset her and make her ready to finally let go of her defiance. She wouldn’t have anything to lose now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just two chapters to go! Rey wakes up.

While artificial blood was being pumped into her and her gaping wound was being sealed, he placed a hand on her forehead, trying to see whether he could reach her already but she was still too far gone. It would have to wait. It didn’t matter anymore though - he had time, so much time. The Resistance was almost nonexistent anymore. Rey had been their last hope as the only user of the Force and now she was with him. 

\---

“Where am I?”  
“You’re still in a coma after you tried to end your life by stabbing a dagger into your heart”, he stated matter-of-factly.

As he told her, her hazy thoughts focused on the moment she had decided that her life didn’t have any worth anymore and all the despair welled up again.

“Please… I just… I can’t take it anymore…”

Although they were only connected by their minds, he felt his warm hand somewhere on her, somehow soothing her.

“Think back to our last encounter, Rey. What did I show you?”

Images of the two different versions of her future entered her stream of thoughts. 

“You remember that I told you that you’d have to choose at some point. That point, Rey, is today. You are on the brink of death, you’re barely holding onto your life… what is it that you want?”

She saw herself in the future he had laid out for her. Strong, happy, glowing with life, passionate… and the alternative she had already lived through. 

“Please… take me with you… forgive me…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!  
> Rey makes her decision.

She woke up soon after, still very weak but fully conscious as the grey fog lifted from her mind. 

The pain in her chest reminded her of the realness of the situation. It had happened exactly as he had told her.

Kylo sat in a chair across from her bed, waiting for her to fully wake up. It had been a couple of weeks and he had been informed many times about her very critical state. 

He didn’t say anything. She knew he was there even before she opened her eyes. For a while, they both breathed in the tense silence. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“Get up.” His tone was harsh and demanding.

Slowly, she crawled to the edge of the bed. 

It was hard. Every one of her limbs was aching and dizziness filled her up. It took ages but eventually she placed her feet on the floor and weakly threw off the blanket.   
Apart from her bandages, she was naked.  
She grabbed onto a chair standing next to the bed to stabilize herself. Before she could pass out again, Kylo pointed to the floor in front of him and motioned her to stand in front of him. Trembling, she made it. 

“Kneel down.”

She obeyed immediately and naturally, not being able to stand for any longer.

“Say it again.”

He grabbed her throat with his gloved hand, applying just enough pressure as not to choke her but hold her firmly in place.

Tears started to well up in her eyes and she tried to clear the massive lump in her throat by swallowing loudly.

 

“I’m sorry… I just… couldn’t….”

“I’m sorry what?”

“I’m sorry… Master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first fic - let me know what you think and Happy Holidays!


End file.
